So…. I raced a 5k today, for the first time in a LONG time.
It went ok! No PR’s [or even close] or amazing records blown, but I raced.
Many of you might be like… what? Like a road race? I thought you were sick! What is going on? Didn’t you graduate? Why are you racing?
Well, I’ve secretly been training for about 2 months. When I say secretly I mean I haven’t told too many people. Why? Because it’s SCARY.
Last year I got mono and it was sucky. Then I got surgery. Then I had to take a long time off.
But I had a problem… I didn’t want to be done with running.
I love this sport. I love the way running makes me feel. I love the things I learn from it. I love running, plain and simple.
I tried to pretend I could just run for fun. I thought maybe I could coach and that would be enough. I tried to pretend I could just “accept” that I never got the time I wanted. But I couldn’t get rid of that itch to keep going–to keep competing–to keep being an athlete.
Towards the middle of January I finally mustered up the courage to finally train, actually train. I wanted to go for it. I wanted to see what my body could do, and reach my potential. But that is scary because that means I can fail. This is scary because it means I have to come back from a physically exhausted, and out of shape place I’ve never been before. It’s scary because it means I am going to go for something that might not happen.
But… that’s all focused on fear and I’m not willing to really give into that. I want to be who I am, and that means I need to be running–really running.
So, some prayers were answered and I found an amazing coach, Nate Houle (who you should check out here if you want to have the best!), my husband was all on board, and Heavenly Father gave me the kick in the pants I needed to get going.
I have a LOT of work to do. But I’m doing it. No matter how crazy, or how little sense it makes, I’m going for it. I want that PR, I want my potential, so I’m going for it. I want my kids one day to know that their mom did everything she could to become her best, reach her best, and do her best, in everything. That she overcame fear, failure, and bounced back to get what she wanted.