We’ve ran into a few friends over the last few weeks and I realized that we haven’t really updated everyone on what Brandon is doing with med school/school!
So. We thought long and hard. We prayed long and hard. We fasted lots. I even told Brandon I would move to Texas [mostly because watching Fixer Upper made me believe I could live in Waco and be Joanna Gaines bff].
And we have decided…. to pursue a PhD! When we were applying to medical school Brandon always wanted to do a joint MD/PhD program. He has always loved research and really enjoyed doing cancer research in his undergrad. This last year he has been working at a lab as a scientist up in Murray helping approve drugs for the FDA and he loves it! Brandon took some time to really consider what he wanted to do and as he though about it more and more he felt like he didn’t want to be a doctor without research and that research might actually be his passion. With that he decided to pursue a PhD instead of an MD. I am very excited for him and am proud of him. Sometimes you have to take the wrong road for a little to know what the right road is and even to prepare you for it!
So come this Fall Brandon will be applying to PhD programs at the U and BYU in cellular, developmental, and microbiology. He hopes to eventually get into cancer research, which is pretty exciting. The PhD should take him around 5 years and here’s the best part…….. you don’t have to pay tuition…. AND!!!! they give you an annual stipend that is pretty fabulous. We are pretty excited [and I’m way excited not to have to stress about paying off $500,000+ of medical school debt on a teaching salary….]. We hope he can get in and really enjoy what he does. Pretty exciting!
In other news…… a lot of people have been asking how my summer is going. It is going great for the most part! I am really feeling rejuvenated and ready to get back to teaching which is a good sign, ha ha. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my family, working on projects at our home, coaching, and paying attention to the Jazz trades in hopes that they might FINALLY make the playoffs again. We also have a trip to Brazil planned for the Olympics, say whaaaaaat?! Yeah we’re pretty stoked.
But there is a couple of things… well one main thing…. that has made me oober [how do you spell that??] frustrated this summer, really since March. My body is not working well and that means that I can’t run, well, unless I want to be in ridiculous pain and dry heaving. I haven’t talked about it a ton, mostly because I’m frustrated, partly because there’s not anything anyone can do, and also because I have a tendency to get teary if I talk about it. As previously mentioned though, a few good friends and family have been asking and so I thought I should maybe update the bloggy about it, considering this is also the way I track my life story.
I’ve been trying to think about how to explain this because most the time I just say “I’m tired”, “I’m sick”, or “I can’t really run right now” and leave it at that.
To help those out there understand how I feel though, answer the following questions:
Have you ever had the flu and your body just ached from head to toe? Have you ever stayed up all night and felt like someone ran you over with a truck the next day? Do you know that feeling at the end of a really tough race or workout where your whole body is screaming and you are so tired you feel like you could just fall over right then and there, and sometimes you do?
Well, that’s how I feel when I run or really do anything active right now. I can run for about 3-4 minutes and then I’ll either start dry heaving and have to pull to the side or I start panting like I’m a 400 lb. person who’s never worked out in there life [no offense intended]. I was trying to run about 3-4 times a week but I was so tired after I worked out I’d take a 5-6 hour nap. So because I wanted to function in normal society and not waste my summer sleeping I have pretty much stopped running.
Each week I try to go at least once to see if my body has recovered yet and because I can’t stand not running. I mean, I was crying during the nature valley commercial and nearly all the Olympic commercials, ha ha. I know you may all think I’m crazy and I get a lot of the,”Well I would love to run as fast as your slow is”. And I totally get that and it’s not even the slow pace that bothers me, it’s the feeling like death the entire time. Currently running is not fun, it is merely painful. And I know that running can be fun. It can be liberating. It can be beautiful. It can be therapy. It can be bonding with friends. It can be a way to learn about yourself. It can be a way to grow closer to God. It can be a lot of things. But for me right now all it is is pain and eventually tears because I know what it can be and can feel like and it is just not that right now. My body just can’t do it, and that’s so hard for me. I am sure you runners will understand.
I get jealous of nearly every jogger and runner on the road I see because I want so badly to get out there and just do what I love, and for it to not feel like my body is incapable of it. I want to go for a 4-5 mile run on my favorite route and just have fun. I don’t want to worry if I get 2 miles out if I’m going to be able to make it back or how long it’s going to take for my body to start dry heaving. But alas, that is not the case. I am sure there are some wonderful life lessons I will learn from this. At the very least I know it helps me appreciate my body when it does feel ok, which it has, and which I am hopeful it will again.
So there’s my sob story. There’s a couple other major challenges that this tired body of mine is creating but we’re not quite ready to share those with the world…but maybe one day. And I’d like to apologize to any who may have seen me at a moment when I was being cranky, grumpy, feisty, whiny, emotional etc. because I know I have been. I have a pretty great husband who has been very supportive, understanding, and patient. And I know it will get better. And I know everything will all work out, it’s just been a struggle.
On the bright side, Heavenly Father has blessed me so much! Grad school has been my saving grace this summer and I am loving it. I love being a student and the great news is that I might not be able to run and be as active as I’d like but my brain is working a-ok! I absolutely love the University of Utah and am so grateful to be in school. It gives me something to work for, to look forward to, and to stop focusing on myself and focus on helping others and working for others. It has been fantastic and I’m so glad we felt like I needed to start this summer. I really am blessed and even though everyone goes through challenges I have seen again and again that God will always give us those tender mercies even, and especially, in challenges.
So that’s kind of our update! I hope you all are having a fantastic summer and enjoying life to the fullest! Here’s some more pictures with some of our awesome friends. And congrats Tay Tay, we are so glad you and Gary are married! [And hope you didn’t have to play too much Pokemon Go on your honeymoon].